I’ve had a lot of stuff happening to my life in 2009, in many ways it has changed who I am and how I see my surroundings. In a way, I would like to share this with my readers – whomever you are – although I am uncertain about why I would like to share. Somehow, I think my experiences can be interesting for others to read about, and they might provoke ideas and thoughts with others that can in turn change the course of history. At the same time, I’m a little afraid of putting it all out there, with regards to employers or employees, personal relationships, business opportunities and other stuff. Both present and future, I might add. And for some reason, those are also the exact reasons why I want to do it. To put myself out there, show who and what I am. It surely will be demanding to write each post if I do, because I cannot do as I do now – post my ideas in a way which often require insight into my other thoughts to be able to understand correctly. And I wonder if it is possible to keep writing as personal a blog as this within a set of rules, or if the rules will make the content change into something less than the whole truth – or maybe it will be quite on the contrary, that it will become even more real, and more personal than now?

In accordance with these thoughts, I have started reading some books on web development. Today, I have learned the concept of the Elevator Pitch. I’ll need to define my site more clearly to be able to write my elevator pitch, and by doing this I might just have to get more active on the blog – it might even be more fun this way.

Today is the one year anniversary of my engagement of marriage.
May it rest it peace.

The last 365 days have been filled with every possible emotion.
I wonder what the coming 365 days will bring.

wick  (2)

Dictionary.com, “wicking,” in Online Etymology Dictionary. Source location: Douglas Harper, Historian. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/wicking. Available: http://dictionary.reference.com. Accessed: December 24, 2009.

Wow. Guess it’s been a while, huh?
Well, those 3 weeks in Taiwan was the best time I’ve had in a long time, and the fact that I wasn’t blogging about it must have meant that I was busy doing other stuff. I met some really nice people there and I totally loved each moment. I created a journal for myself which I was writing a lot in during my visit and I’ve kept writing it since I got back. No need for online posting, then.

After getting back (and for no apparent reason, right now I am curious about the word ‘whickle’) I have got myself a new guitar; a Jackson Adrian Smith signature, it is a total beauty and plays wonderfully! Also, I’ve taken up working out at the local gym, and I’ve completed a course in Mandarin Chinese. The teacher, Miss Zeng, is a wonderful girl with a beautiful smile, and she is a very kind teacher. Maybe a little too kind, as I have not been very good at doing my homework, 哈哈！:-)

Today is Christmas Eve, and true to tradition, most Norwegians are now cuddled around in their living rooms, opening their christmas presents after stuffing themselves with a huge meal. I did have a huge meal also; we had Pinnekjøtt, which is a traditional Norwegian dish made from dried sheep ribs. This was my first meal with meat since November, actually. Tomorrow will be my second one, which is the traditional English turky dinner with plum pudding dessert. Yum yum!

I’m wondering if my buddy has his traditional of friends gathering tonight. He’s got his fiancée here now, and his family was supposed to have the christmas dinner at his house this year. His brother, who lives in the same building, also has his Thai girlfriend here this christmas. She’s been here two times this year, she lives in England. I’ve not met her once. I wonder if she is a nice girl or not. She better be, because he deserves as good a girl as possible. I’ll send my friend a text later and ask if he minds if I stop by for a couple of beers or not later tonight.

Tomorrow, my brother will bring his kids and we’ll have the christmas breakfast, or brunch…. then opening the presents after breakfast. Somehow I feel the gifts of this year will feel very different from those of last year. It’s funny it has been a year and how much have changed. Oh well. That’s life I guess.

And now I should keep stuffing myself with candy and drinks, I suppose. AFter all, it is christmas only once – each year.

Lately I’ve been feeling upset with my ex-girlfriend. Actually, to be honest, I’ve been pretty pissed off at her. And to be even more honest, the person I’m pissed off at is myself. I’m pissed at myself for being stupid enough to blame my girlfriend and not accept responsibility for my feelings as of late. Yes, I think I am the one and only who can take responsibility for how I feel. I am, after all, the only one that can do anything about it. And by letting myself feel annoyed, irritated or even angry at my ex-girlfriend when she does, or maybe more importantly doesn’t do something, I keep denying myself happiness. All this will probably seem quite confusing for the one that doesn’t know what is going on in my mind, and I’m totally okay with that. Really. Remember, I write this for myself, no one else. So when I do silly things like refuse to answer her emails, I realize that I am not doing anything productive, rather I am actually being counter-productive. I still want her friendship, very much so in fact – she has been my best friend for years before we became a couple, and losing your best friend just as you are losing your girlfriend, is just plain stupid. At least when you are taking steps to make sure you lose her – or him – yourself.

On the other hand though, it feels like I’m getting ready to let go. I realized today that I’ve been having problems trusting her in our relationship for a long time…. maybe even since the beginning. Maybe I knew this would happen? I’ve had an amazing adventure though, our relationship was like one cut out for the movies. I will always treasure the moments we had. As a French author once wrote;

True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist,
Nor can it be hidden where it truly does.

I found a lot of comfort in that quotation, I guess it means she wasn’t meant for me after all. And if she is, the truth will come to us in the end. Either way, it won’t help for me to go about ruining my days over the breakup anymore.

On a side note, I discovered that my previous post entitled 101 Things I love about her ranks 4th place when you search for the phrase on Google. Why do so few put their love in words like this? Should it be a secret that I love the smile and laughter of my (now ex) girlfriend? I think not! Shame on you, people of the world! No friggin’ wonder there are wars going on all over. The funny thing though, is the way I discovered that this phrase puts me on 4th place – because someone actually searched for that phrase and ended up on my blog! Who they are or where they are from, I do not know – but I find it funny that someone would search for it, and the only list you find that is actually about some person written by someone in love with that person, is mine. Through searching for it though (of course I had to try) I found a website called Day Zero Project. This is a site that encourage people to set goals for themselves, and go out there and do it. One thing for each 10 days (or just about so anyway) for the next 3 years or so. It shouldn’t be so impossible, should it? I’m going to check out this site even more, it had some really cool ideas and pointers, things that I am sure can help a lot of people achieve a greater level of happiness in their lives.